Say My Name
by lolitachihiro
Summary: After a tragic accident, Yuuta wonders if his brother will ever say his name again. But for now, all he can do is wait.


**AN: As usual I was listening to my music on my way to University and at one point this song played and I got a huge amound of inspiration. It's actually quite a sad piece of writing and I am happy to be able to say it isn't an personal inspired work. I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**The song I used is called "Say My Name" from Within Temptation. **

-FujiFuji-

**Say My Name**

Yuuta never liked being here. He always felt like he was going to suffocate. All the people who lived here were either old or disabled. He tried not to judge those people, because they couldn't help being who they were, but it always made him a bit uneasy. Every time he walked through the doors of the nursing home he wanted to turn around and walk away as fast as he possible could. But he didn't, he never did. He always swallowed his anxiety and kept on going.

He told the receptionist who he was coming to see and she let him through. He walked along in silence. Occasionally he heard laughing, talking and murmuring drifting from the rooms around him. He never bothered to take a look at what was happening in there before and he didn't do it now. He wanted to get this over with.

He continued walking until he reached the far end of the building. He had reached the area with the single rooms. The worst cases were kept. The people who had no chance of changing, recovering or ever getting out of there. They were simply waiting until their time had come.

He softly knocked on one of the doors. When he didn't hear anything from inside, he slowly pushed the door open.

The room was seemingly empty. There was a bed, covered with spotless white bedding. A large drawer which contained a few pieces of clothes. A desk, which was sickly clean and organized and a large sofa. The sofa was situated near the window, so everyone who was sitting there would have a nice few at the outside world. But it was winter and the weather was dreary. The clouds blocked the sun, making it seem darker than necessary.

The sofa was occupied by a single person. A slender boy with brown hair had his back turned towards the door and stared out of the window.

Yuuta swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat and stepped through the doorway. Carefully he walked towards the person. He didn't want to scare him. Gently he laid his hand on the person's shoulder to grab his attention. He flinched involuntary at the feel of the bones underneath his palm. He was definitely skinnier and bonier than the last time Yuuta was here. He wondered if he ate enough. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind.

The boy in the sofa turned his head to look up at him. His face was pale, probably too pale. His eyes had lost its usual mischievous gleam. His mouth formed a small smile, but Yuuta knew it wasn't real, it never reached his eyes.

"Hey Shuusuke", he stated softly. The boy's face became confused. Yuuta felt a pang inside of him. "It's me, Yuuta. I'm your brother, remember now?". Slowly Shuusuke bobbed his head up and down, but he didn't seem convinced.

Yuuta let lose an inaudible sigh. He had hoped that it would be a good day today. That today Shuusuke would recognize him on his own. He still felt guilty for lending his brother in this situation.

It had been almost a year ago. Shuusuke had decided to come to St. Rudolph to pick him up. At that time Yuuta thought it only gave him an excuse to embarrass him even more. On their way home, they had argued over it. Well, he had argued and Shuusuke had teased him and had kept the upper hand in the conversation. Even in a simple conversation, his brother was better than him. It had frustrated him to no end. In an angry fit he had crossed the street without checking the road if it was safe to go. He could still see his brother's face go from a teasing expressing into one of extreme fear. He had heard people screaming and had felt a push in his side after which he had landed on the concrete sidewalk.

It had taken him some time to comprehend what had happened. But when he saw the truck tumbled over, on its side in the middle of the street and his brother laying lifeless a couple of meters further away, he could feel the air being sucked out of him. As fast as his legs him could carry him he made his way towards him. There had been blood, a lot of blood. It was seeping from a wound in Shuusuke's head. It made his normally soft and clean hair seem dull and dirty. At that moment he felt so guilty. He promised himself never to talk bad about him ever again, if only he was to live. He had knelt by his side and just sat there, holding Shuusuke's hand while waiting for the doctors to arrive. They took him to the hospital, where he went into surgery.

Hours, he didn't know how many, but it had taken hours before the doctors had come out again. With solemn faces they gave the outcome of the surgery. They had managed to save the 'most' of him. He was still in an artificial coma, but stable. Physically he would most likely fully recover, but the doctors had warned them. Due to the accident and the head injury, he had some serious brain damage. Chances were very high he wouldn't recognize them or remember them. Specialist had given them little hope that he would ever be able too.

That's how he eventually ended up here, in a nursing home, surrounded by the old and disabled. How much Yuuta had wanted it, keeping his brother at home, prove to be too difficult. He needed constant care and none of them could provide that.

Yuuta sighed again. Shuusuke had started to rummage through the things on his desk and soon held up a small book. Yuuta recognized it as one of the storybooks they used to enjoy when they were children. Shuusuke sat down next to him on the bed, flipped through the book and when he found the right story, he silently pleaded with his eyes for Yuuta to read the story to him.

Yuuta smiled a small smile and took the book from his brother. The latter cuddled closer to him and closed his eyes while Yuuta told him the story Shuusuke had chosen this time.

While reading Yuuta dared to take a peek at the person sitting next to him. Although he might not recognize him anymore and would probably have forgotten him by the time he went to bed, if he could just bring a smile on his face right now it would be enough. Then Yuuta wouldn't feel so guilty anymore.

After an hour or two, it was time for him to go. He set Shuusuke back in his sofa by the window and waved him goodbye. But nobody waved back. Shuusuke had brought his attention back to staring through the window.

Yuuta felt a pang of hurt inside his heart. He could feel the tears that were threatening to overflow his eyes. He softly closed the door behind him. He hurried to get away from this place, before he would be suffocated. After making his way through the exit-door, he made a sigh of relief. Once again he had survived being there. Never, never again would he be going there. He made that promise on his way home. But then again; he had told himself that every previous time he went there.

**A/N R&R I actually feel satisfied about he way it turned out.** **^_^**


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